work and worry

Hard work pays off... in a promotion. In a very nice place to live. In respect from my coworkers and my family. In neatly dressed children.And still I want so desperately to get away, to move someplace remote where life is slower, quieter, greener. Everything about my life sometimes feels like a trap. And yet, I know I'm so lucky. I'm so very lucky to live where I live and have the job I have when so many people are struggling, have lost everything they had financially, have lost everything they had in love, have lost a parent, a best friend, or their child. And I've been so much worse off with no money, no job, no place to live. I have SO MUCH. But I want so much more... and so much less.I want crickets and wind chimes instead of engines and air conditioners, more music and less internet. But I've no idea how to obtain that. I want to pack up and move to a place where I can start over with my girls, hopefully with good friends, where I can grow a garden and have chickens and think and write and create and breathe and be.I've been dreaming of kittens and beetles. Not a great combination.I'm in a wonderful relationship though. And I feel loved. And respected. And comfortable. And I love him.